When it comes to relationships, many of us go through the experience of having an unhealthy one. We hope that after we experience a toxic relationship, we know what to look for the next time and what to avoid. Sometimes people don’t see the bad part of the relationship and stay unhappy with someone they shouldn’t be with. Here are some signs that you should look for in an unhealthy relationship:
1) Physical/Emotional/Verbal Abuse. Whether it was a drunken, hard shove up against the wall or constant abuse, the trust in the relationship is broken. You cannot have a relationship without trust. Your significant other should be someone who protects you and makes you feel safe. This person should be someone to turn to when you are hurt. There is no ifs, ands or buts when it comes to this. Not only is there physical abuse, there is emotional and verbal abuse. These two can truly affect a person’s heart and mind. This can change how a person’s acts towards their significant other for the rest of their lives. You should be able to trust the person that you are with; that they will guard and protect your heart and mind. There should be zero physical, emotional, verbal abuse in a relationship.
2) Cheating. There should never be cheating when you are in a committed relationship. There are ways to restart and work on fixing a relationship, but only if both people are willing to do the work. If the cheater is only wanting to have their person and get some more, then it is time to have respect for yourself and leave.
3) The relationship is unbalanced. If there is one person in the relationship that is “wearing the pants”, then it is time to cut it off. You are not in a relationship anymore, it is one person controlling the other. Don’t let anyone control you! If you are feeling under-appreciated or worthless while you are making your significant other feel special, then it is unbalanced.
4) It’s only physical. If the only thing in your relationship is sex and physical attraction, it will NOT last. Only caring about the physical stuff in the relationship is mentally unhealthy for both partners. Look for someone who cares about more than just physical attraction; someone that cares about you!
5) If it brings you more pain than joy. Sometimes it is hard to see a relationship that started off good, fall apart. You may only think of the good times and not realize that you are not happy with your significant other anymore. Once you realize that you are constantly unhappy, frustrated, or upset more often than you should be, then this person might not be for you. Search for someone that tries to make you happy all the time.
6) If he/she is expecting you to change. In a relationship there should be unconditional love. With this, there should be no judging or requesting change from the other person. If they are asking you to change for your well-being that is different. If they are asking you to change things such as how you dress or how you act, then they are not respecting you! You are clearly not right for each other.
7) You are bored. In a relationship, there should be feelings of excitement and joy. If you feel like you are going through the motions with your significant other, then leave! Find someone who brings fun into the relationship. You should be having fun even when you are’t doing anything.
8) You have forgotten who you are. Losing yourself in a relationship is a huge risk when it comes to long-term relationships. A person can start only focusing on their significant other and then all of a sudden you don’t know what you like or who you are anymore. Always stay in tune with yourself. You should find someone who pushes and challenges you to be the best version of yourself, not someone that causes you to lose yourself.
9) Jealousy. If there is too much jealousy in the relationship, then it is doomed. If your partner is trying to control every single thing that you do and becomes jealous from everyone, it is time to end the relationship. If they are pointing every interaction you have with someone else and trying to cause a fight from it, then they are jealous. With jealousy comes trust; if you or your partner is jealous that usually means there is no trust in the relationship.
10) Different paths. When two people go onto different paths in life, it can be a problem for their relationship. There are times when you are growing and experiencing life, and your parter is not. With that, there is no way to truly connect with your partner. There are times when this relationship can still work, but more often it does not.